Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Sunny days and childish dreams...

A beautifully sunny weekend! Spring is truly upon us!

I spent Saturday morning driving to Surrey and back, and I must say deepest Surrey countryside really is quite something. Like an arse I didn't have a camera with me, so you'll just have to put up with a description, I guess if a picture is worth a thousand words, then a hundred words will give you a squishy thumbnail in which you can almost make out something that might be a dog catching a Frisbee* or could be cousin Thingies wedding. Picture this, if you will:

A country road winding through farm and woodland, everything bursting with the fresh greenness of spring; glades of bluebells swaying gently in a warm breeze. A small pond by the side of the road with the new shoots of reeds appearing through a surface almost covered in a blanket of the white blossoms of the trees that grow beside and reach over the water, dappling the sunlight that streams down and twinkles amongst the floating petals. Ah! 'Twas lovely indeed, English countryside at its very best. Next time I'll take a camera.

The journey was to see a man about my Land Rover, and, after much sucking of the teeth, shaking of the head and pointing out of things that just can't be repaired a plan was made. And lo, the man behind some of the most stunning Land Rover restorations in the county has agreed to help make mine somewhat tidier. Not a full restoration (that would require selling Esme and both kidneys), but a fairly thorough renovation of body work none the less. I'll shut up about it now as my capacity to talk about such things tends to bring whole new dimensions to the word 'tedium'.

Our friend Asif popped round to visit with his daughter Janna. Janna is 2½ and very cute.

Janna helps Esme with her embarrassing 'Bed Hair' issues.

She is quite bashful around folk she doesn't know that well, but she was very taken with Esme. She soon found a hairbrush and started brushing Esme's hair, prompting, after the required amounts of cooing and exclaiming how sweet it was, this exchange:

Asif (perhaps a little patronisingly): “Janna, do you want to be a hairdresser when you grow up?”

Janna (emphatically): “No!”

Asif (hopefully) : “Do you want to be a doctor?”

Janna (determinedly) : “No!”

Asif (Still hopeful he might be well supported in old age) : “An Accountant? Do you want to be an accountant?”

Janna (quite sure of this one): “No!”

Asif : “Well what do you want to be when you're older? When you're a grown up?”

Janna (without a pause): “A man!”.

Well, a girl can dream...

* I never knew Frisbee had a capital 'F' before today.

Monday, 9 April 2007

A mixed bag...

I keep thinking of things I want to write about, then either think about them too much 'til I'm bored of them, or completely forget them. So a mixed bag of thoughts and jottings today.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
The president of Iran, or, according to some UK tabloids 'The Evil President of Iran', has been in the news a lot, and he has a beard not unlike my own. I think he played the whole thing very well. Not so impressed with Royal Naval personnel - whatever happened to British spunk and backbone, eh? If the cream of Her Majesty's Navy is confessing to crimes they don't believe they committed within a few days of capture after some (alleged) isolation and questioning, what should we make of confessions of those held and questioned for four years or more at Guantánamo Bay? If anyone thinks the Iranians are behaving badly, read Iran's history (and Britain's part in it) of the last century.

Penises!
(Not for the faint hearted, or those currently enjoying a nice sandwich)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/5371500.stm
I've always said that Johnny Foreigner is a rum sort, but this takes the (cock) biscuit.

Humps (and lady lumps)
Alanis Morissette may not understand irony but she seems to have a firm grasp of parody.

And in case, like me, you haven't seen it the original here's the Black Eyed Peas' version.

An April Fool's joke apparently. Hooray for Alanis I say.

Beards
Week five... A bit lop-sided in the moustache department, but a good walrusy soup-strainer developing there.

Beard. All a bit Eagle-Eyes Action Man. Antonia thinks I should build a cuckoo-clock inside it.

Easter Weekend
Four days off! Yea!
Antonia bought Esme her first Easter egg from Fortnum and Mason - London's finest grocer and convenience store. Probably one of the few shops in the world where you can buy a cabbage, a pound of carrots, two dozen fresh oysters and a £500 bottle of Champagne. Very convenient, I'm sure you'll agree.

Mmmmm... Eggy goodness....

Sadly Esme has no teeth, so we had to eat it all for her. Mwahahahahaha.
It was lovely. Probably the best Easter egg I've ever eaten.

Later on, we went to the park where we read about the wonders of functional computer languages. Esme was really taken with the declarative programming paradigm. It's just thrill after wacky, crazy, thrill when I'm your father! Oh yes! The park was rather lovely too. No Easter Bum Snakes here.
'Gosh, Father! This is interesting!'

I know so many parents think their child is the cutest, cleverest, best child ever, but ours actually is. Which is nice.