Bums!
I have been roused from my blogging slumber by a recent poster advertising campaign that has left me all a-flutter and aghast. If you are of a delicate disposition I would advise that you look away, and skip the photograph that follows. It is not for eyes of decent folk - you have been warned.
Exhibit A.Those who did not heed my warning and looked will probably be feeling quite nauseous and more than a little dirty right now. For those with the good sense not to look, let me describe the scene:
A 'lady' with painted lips half sits, facing away. She is naked except for stockings and shoes, her skin has a sickly pallor, an almost death-like waxy sheen. She rests only one buttock on the furniture, the other raised as if she is about to, or just has floated an air biscuit. In a mirror we can see that she is reading a book - probably by the Marquis de Sade or one of his impersonators. She has summoned her butler (portrayed female to encourage lewd thoughts of sapphic trysting), who has appeared in the foreground carrying a bottle of perfume on a tray. The 'lady' obviously enjoys humiliating the butler, making her witness her bodily functions with a sexual relish. She has ordered the butler to bring a bottle of perfume, just so she can fart at her as she leans forwards to scent her proffered buttocks. One expects from her expression she might follow through. On purpose.
Quite, quite horrid. I'm sure you must agree. If you haven't already witnessed this then I'm sorry for bringing it to your attention.
Now, there are, in this world, broadly speaking, two types of butt. Sexy butts, that make you go 'Mmmm, phwoar! hey hey! nice butt!' and then there are butts that make you think of the primary function of the fundamental orifice. I don't want to think about that whilst driving through town.
Just a thought.
A 'lady' with painted lips half sits, facing away. She is naked except for stockings and shoes, her skin has a sickly pallor, an almost death-like waxy sheen. She rests only one buttock on the furniture, the other raised as if she is about to, or just has floated an air biscuit. In a mirror we can see that she is reading a book - probably by the Marquis de Sade or one of his impersonators. She has summoned her butler (portrayed female to encourage lewd thoughts of sapphic trysting), who has appeared in the foreground carrying a bottle of perfume on a tray. The 'lady' obviously enjoys humiliating the butler, making her witness her bodily functions with a sexual relish. She has ordered the butler to bring a bottle of perfume, just so she can fart at her as she leans forwards to scent her proffered buttocks. One expects from her expression she might follow through. On purpose.
Quite, quite horrid. I'm sure you must agree. If you haven't already witnessed this then I'm sorry for bringing it to your attention.
Now, there are, in this world, broadly speaking, two types of butt. Sexy butts, that make you go 'Mmmm, phwoar! hey hey! nice butt!' and then there are butts that make you think of the primary function of the fundamental orifice. I don't want to think about that whilst driving through town.
Just a thought.
9 answers on a postcard...:
Well I for one would be more than happy for the aforementioned 'lady' to let one go and hold my head under the duvet, any time of the day or night :)
is the perfume to cover up the air biscuit? the yin and yang of olfactory-based sexual arousal in one tableau.
I guess there are many others such as fourstar who enjoy a little sour with their sweet.
Fourstar - the ol' dutch oven, eh? well, what ever floats your duvet . Weirdo.
Bob - That's how I read it. I'm not sure it's how I'd choose to market a new perfume. It must be quite a niche market though, Fourstar - how many of, er, your sort are there? Is it a large untapped socio-economic group, while retail consultants soon start talking about the 'Brown Pound'?, please let us know...
No, I'm sorry, you have mistaken it for the 'Broon Poond', a measurement of currency which equates to around 33% less than you thought it was worth :)
But when you first see references to the 'Fart Baht' on the pages of the FT, that's when you'll know WE HAVE ARRIVED...
Personally I thought it was odd that you were blogging about her farty looking fundament.
But I discussed it with my better half and he had the same thought when he saw the ad.
You're both weird. :-)
I must call "false advertising" on your title, "Bums!' because, so far as I can tell, there is only the one bum in the photo. I was looking forward to more, sans the accompanying gas, of course.
My personal problem with that ad is that she looks so much like a tranny. Which takes some doing when you're naked. I have inspected the image very closely (it's at my local bus stop and the bus doesn't come very quickly) and am reluctantly forced to conclude that there is genuine breast curvature visible from under her arm. For the rest, total boy. (Broad shoulders. Narrow hips. Weird bum.) What a confusing choice of image for a supposedly sexy brand. It seems they were just desperate to mimic the drawing on the actual bottle, and, well, failed.
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Estabilizador e Nobreak, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://estabilizador-e-nobreak.blogspot.com. A hug.
hi mate, this is the canadin pharmacy you asked me about: the link
Post a Comment