Beware the Hoover of Doom, my Cat.
Derek, our rather lovely, stately and rotund old lady cat is scared of little. When things go bump in the night and Clive ('tother cat) hides under the bed, Derek will, most often, go and investigate. When foxes put their heads through the cat flap and send Clive into a desperate tizzy, Derek will go and punch them in the nose. Not much ruffles her feathers. Not much, that is, except The Hoover Of Doom. I don't know what terrible things happened to Derek in her life before us (she was eleven when we got her) but she certainly doesn't like vacuum cleaners. Normally the first sound of one and she's off, hiding in the garden or special secret places.
This is how our vacuum cleaner appears in Derek's poor little warped brain.So, when I started vacuuming yesterday, I wasn't surprised when Derek quickly vanished. But... When I got to the bedroom I discovered she wasn't hiding at all! No, she'd put all fear of a certain, slow, painful and lingering death to one side, and was guarding over no.1 child, Esme, in a 'Any demoniacally possessed electrical appliances that want to eat this baby are going to have to come through me first' kind of way. Now, how sweet is that? I love our cat, me. (and our baby, of course).
No one (or thing) is going to eat this baby!
7 answers on a postcard...:
How comforting to know you have a guardcat on duty!
My husband's cat would dispatch any would-be attacker by simply staying 3 inches in front of his toes, thus ensuring a deadly stumble & fall. At least, that's what he does to me.
Can we trade cats?
My mom used to keep her cat out of a room merely by placing any bit of the vacuum in the doorway. The cat would not go near that door.
Pretty kitty.
That makes me just gooey inside. So cute!
I'm surprised the bed isn't canted to the right. That's a huge cat. Does light bend towards it? Various items disappear when it trundles by? Set off seismographs halfway around the globe?
you you keep cattle in the garden to feed it?
Esme could ride Derek! That cat is enormous. We brought our girl home from hospital, Lurlene the cat came over sniffed her, and hid the first year of my daughters life.
If Chris and I ever had kids you can be absolutely sure that Jah would try and kill the competition at the earliest opportunity. And having seen how she dispatches humungous, urban rats I am not sure that's an opportunity I am prepared to give her.
But she does stroke my hair very nicely to wake me up in the morning and she never shits in her pants so the trade off ain't bad.
Derek ROCKS.
Incidentally, my mom had a tough-as-nails tomcat as a pet when I was growing up. I was terrified of him, and he was terrified of the vacuum.
Once, Mom left the vacuum in the hall when she'd finished with it. Emerging later from his hidey hole to find the dragon vanquished and dead, the cat did the only thing that made sense. He pissed all over it.
Post a Comment