Good Luck!

I can't remember how it came up originally, but we here at VitriolForDummies decided to bring good luck and wishing up to date.

For to long we have been dependent on old wives tales and murky superstition for our good fortune. This new and updated list is, of course, based on solid scientific research.

We have downgraded shooting stars (they are only little rocks, after all, and you always get loads in August when we go through the Perseid meteors), and blowing out candles on birthday cakes (due to the vile practice of self-re-lighting candles). These have been downgraded and will now merely bring good luck, rather than having full wish-upon status.

However, we now have three new things that will make wishes come true (usual caveats of secrecy apply):

1. A taxi full of bridesmaids (must be at least three bridesmaids and a public taxi: private-hire cars/limousines do not count).
2. A cormorant flying under a bridge.
3. A dead dog. (Rather sad, but true. Obviously no wishes if you had any part in its downfall)

Things no longer lucky:
1. Horseshoes - There used to be too many, now there are less, but they have become too tacky.
2. Unicorns - Apart from awful airbrush artwork and even worse porcelain ornaments there are no unicorns. Bad taste in posters/crap china is not lucky.
3. Lucky Heather - This has never been lucky. The only lucky thing about heather is not having someone try to sell you some.

New things to bring good luck:
1. Cormorants.
2. Seeing a Goth laugh.
3. Three red cars in a row (Doubly lucky if playing 'Red Car'*)

Quicky guide:

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*'Red Car' is a wonderful game for the whole family to play whilst driving. It was invented during 'My Rock 'n' Roll Years' (tm), off to do a gig in, of all places, Redcar, with my erstwhile companion Big Jason. It involves the first person to see a red car shouting 'Red Car!' followed by large argument of who actually saw it first, which only abates when another red car appears. It's a winner every time!